All The Same Darkness
by Reddevil6394
Summary: "I signed up to sing with them, I didn't sign up to hang out with them." She clarifies. Puck shrugs "Same thing." "No, it's not" Rachel snaps. "Why did you join at all?" Puck asks. "It's not like you're exactly the type." He adds condescendingly. "And you are?" She counters. "I have my reasons." He answers simply. "And I have mine." Rachel says with the same finality.


**_Well here I go. I haven't written in years and I've never written for Glee before so lets test the waters shall we? You guys let me know if it is completely awful but if by some chance you like it want to read more then leave a review telling me so and what you think of it. This idea has been floating around in my mind for too long and I just had to write it down, and if you do like it I have a great vision of where to take this story and I hope you guys are interested to see where it goes too. _**

**_Be aware Rachel is very AU in this story, but still retains a lot of the characteristics of the Rachel Berry we all know and love. You'll see that if the story continues on._**

**_I own nothing you have seen or know from the real world. _**

**_Enjoy! _**

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_Rachel,_

_ I stopped by your house yesterday and Rick said you were at an afterschool club that meets everyday. I think it's great that you've gotten involved and I can't wait to hear all about it when we meet next week. I might even know the advisor; I've worked closely with many teachers at McKinley through the years. Anyway, glad to hear you're doing well, I'll see you soon! _

_Liv_

Rachel groaned at the email, dropping her cellphone into the satchel that was draped across her leather jacket clad body. Rick just _had_ to go and say she was part of a club. Why couldn't he have told Liv she was out with friends or something? Not that she had any, but that was beside the point. Now she was forced to sign up for some ridiculous school sponsored club that would make her not only associate with, but inevitably hold conversations with the neanderthals and shallow conceded princesses that were the students that made up McKinley High School. Snatching her calculus book from her locker, Rachel slammed the metal door shut before storming down the hall to the activities board.

It was the middle of October, meaning nearly all of the clubs already reached their maximum acceptance of members, leaving only three options for clubs open to Rachel Berry. Scanning the names, Rachel considered which club she could join that wouldn't require too much effort or association with the members; she didn't actually _want_ to be there after all. The first organization she looked at was the "Mock Trial Club" but it was quickly dismissed when Rachel noted that the advisor was Mrs. Costen, her history teacher. Rachel hated the old bat. Not only was she painfully boring, the grey haired witch absolutely refused to listen to anyone else's opinions and berated any student who dared offer theirs. Rachel had witnessed the breakdowns of several students in her class once Mrs. Costen was through with them after their voiced their views. One girl even wet her pants and was forced to leave school early before promptly dropping the class. No way was Rachel going to willingly sign up to spend more time with such a vile human being. Moving on to the next sheet she saw that it was for Physics club, that didn't sound too awful. Rachel liked physics, and she was good at it. If she had to join a club it could at least involve something she knew she would excel at. Gripping the pen hanging next to the paper, Rachel began to sign her name, scanning the signatures of those who already were a part of the club. She recognized few of the names, but that wasn't a surprise, considering she had only been at the school a little over a month and rarely spoke to her classmates. The final name on the list, however, caused Rachel to drop the pen as though it at scorched her fingers.

Jacob Ben Israel

The name was written sloppily onto the line above where Rachel had neatly scrawled her own, but legible enough for her to read exactly what it said. Jacob was one of the few people at the school Rachel interacted with on a regular basis, but it was _not_ by choice and certainly not in a positive way. The little freak had taken a liking to her the second she walked through the doors on the first day, quickly attempting to engage her in conversation and offer to show her around, in his words, "The school or my bedroom, which ever you prefer." After a few seconds of an incredulous look, Rachel pointed her eyes into a menacing glare and told the fluffy haired boy that if he ever wanted to reproduce in the future he would be wise to avoid suggesting something like that to her ever again. The boy did not seem to understand the warning however, considering he still attempted to flirt with Rachel on a daily basis and was even caught attempting to steal a pair of her gym shorts from her athletics locker. The kid had some serious issues so needles to say the second his name appeared on the sign up sheet for Physics club, it was out of the question. Rachel furiously scribbled over her name on the sheet until it was completely blacked out by swirls and lines before turning to her last option.

Join The New Directions Glee club!

Seriously? This is her last option? With no other choice, Rachel sighed as she quickly signed her name on the bottom line of the list and took note of the meeting time and room number. Turning around she noticed that during her time at the activities board the hallway had cleared, meaning the bell was due to ring for the last class of the day at any moment. Scrambling down the hallway in an attempt to avoid being late, Rachel made it to her calculus class mere seconds before the annoying bell chimed throughout the school.

_Glee club. _She thinks pulling out her notebook. _What am I getting myself into?_

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Rachel didn't even bother to check that she had the right room number once she heard the commotion of instruments and various harmonies drifting into the hallway. Taking a deep breath, she slowly opens the heavy wood door and enters the commotion filled room. Quickly, as though a ghost had just entered, all movement stopped and silence replaced the lively noise the filled it only moments before. 13 heads simultaneously whipped around to stare at whoever entered the room. Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot Rachel gave a halfhearted wave.

"Uh, Hey." After another second of awkward silence Mr. Schuester stepped toward her, a large grin spread across his face.

"Rachel, hi! What can we do for you?" Rachel let out a relieved breath when her Spanish teacher came up to her. She likes Mr. Schuester, sure he isn't the best Spanish teacher in the world- she feels that she can make that assumption considering she speaks it nearly fluently- but he is pretty cool and open with his students. It's a relief to know that he's the director of the group she had no choice but to join. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket Rachel forces a small smile onto her face.

"I'm here to join Glee club."

Several of the students in the room smile at her announcement, while others hold their curious glances in her direction. Unsure of what to do next, she is happy when Mr. Shuester claps her shoulder and takes control of the situation.

"That's great!" He looks to the crowd of students as if encouraging them to agree with him. "We always welcome new members. Will you sing something for us, give us a taste of your voice" Mentally slapping herself in the face Rachel stifles the groan that is trying to creep its way out of her mouth. Of course the would want to hear her sing before they let her join, they're a performance based group after all and they don't want someone who sounds like Selena Gomez pre auto-tune to be a part of their club.

It isn't that she can't sing. She can actually, very well if she does say so herself, but performing a solo in front of 12 of her peers doesn't exactly help with her plan of staying under the radar for the rest of the school year. She was hoping she could get away with singing some harmonies and swaying in the background, giving her just enough to tell Liv about when they meet up for their monthly lunch. Deciding to bite the bullet she drops her bag onto the tile and turns to Mr. Shuester.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Smiling again, Mr. Shuester gestures for the students to take a seat before introducing her.

"Everybody this is Rachel Berry. She's new to McKinley High this year and wants to join "New Directions" so lets all welcome her like we do everyone else." Angling his body to Rachel he claps his hands together. "Rachel, the stage is yours." He quietly joins the students by taking a seat in the front row of chairs. Clearing her throat, Rachel scans the crowd of expectant faces. She recognizes most of them from various classes or the hallway but some are completely new to her. There are three girls in cheerleading uniforms, one whose name she thinks is Santana from her English class. She recognizes an Asian girl from the front row as Tina, they have gym together and she loaned her an extra t-shirt once when Rachel forgot her own, but the Asian boy next to her whom she has her hand linked with is a mystery to Rachel. There are two impressively dressed guys in the second row who seem to be more interested in fretting over a broach on the skinnier ones lapel than what she is about to sing and next to a wheel chair bound boy is her lab partner Sam. He's probably the only one in the room she'd consider herself on a somewhat friendly basis with; he offers her an encouraging smile before she continues her skim around the room. She takes note of a girl named Mercedes that she has history with, sitting next to a dreadlock haired boy. Finally in the back corner of the room sits a guy who she vaguely identifies as a face that has a locker close to her own, but she doesn't know his name. Rachel scoffs internally at his mohawk, which is an obvious and pathetic attempt to give off a "badass, don't mess with me vibe". Glancing down at her worn leather jacket and scuffed combat boots she pushes away the voice telling her she's doing the same thing.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel forces herself to ignore the nerves creeping up inside her. She's faced much scarier things then 17-year-old amateur singers. Without introducing her song she jumps right into what she thinks will be an acapella version of Joan Jetts "Road Runner", but when the band in the room starts right in and backs her up with the song she realizes this will be a full on performance. As disconnected as Rachel wants to feel from the performance, she still loses herself in the song and before she knows it, she's finished and the glee club is all staring at her with dumbfounded looks on their faces. God was she really that bad? It's not like she cares what any of them think but she's still hoping she's good enough to just stand in the back and be able to tell Liv she really is part of a club. It's either that or Physics Club with Jacob Ben Israel and Rachel _really _doesn't want to have to do that, for Jacobs safety more than hers. Her thoughts are interrupted by a hearty laugh, followed by eager clapping, all initiated by Mercedes.

"Hell yes girl, you are just what we need to beat Vocal Adrenaline this year!" Her claps seem to break the rest of the students out of their stupor because before Rachel realizes it they are all on their feet telling her how talented is she and how excited they are for her to join. Rachel smiles uncomfortably at all of the praise and attention, this is definitely not helping her fly under the radar but at least the students in this club don't seem to be too obnoxious. If she has to spend time with them it's nice to know she wont want to put her head through a wall every day from 3:30 to 5:30. Her attention is pulled away from her new teammates when she catches the eye of mohawk guy, who has not moved from his seat. Making eye contact with him, Rachel raises her brow challengingly as if to say, "What are you looking at?" To her surprise he remains unfazed and rather than giving her a challenging look back his eyes simply hold their curious stare. Unsure as to why this unnerves her so much Rachel quickly breaks the contact and continues to awkwardly thank the students surrounding her. Mr. Shuester attempts to calm down the commotion by telling the members to return to their seats, all the while looking just as excited as his students are.

"While I think it's just a formality at this point" He laughs, moving to stand next to Rachel "Welcome to The New Directions!"

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The rest of Rachel's first glee rehearsal goes as smoothly as could have been expected. It's Friday, so her fellow members were finishing up performances for Mr. Shue's (Rachel learns that her peers refer to their director by his shortened name, she prefers it so she decides she will now too) lesson of the week. This week it was Broadway/Movie soundtracks, so she watched silently from the back row as the two broach-obsessed boys (she learned their names to be Kurt and Blaine) sang "When I First Saw You" from Dreamgirls. The wheelchair boy, she found out to be Artie, sang "Johanna" from Sweeney Todd, while Tina and her boyfriend whom Rachel learned is named Mike sang "Suddenly Seymour" from Little Shop of Horrors. The blonde cheerleader Quinn finished the class by singing "Hopelessly Devoted To You" from Grease. Rachel couldn't help but notice the tension that filled the room, along with the tears that appeared in Quinn's eyes during her rendition of the hit. However Rachel kept quiet once it appeared to be an unsaid understanding not to mention it once the blonde returned to her seat and received numerous hand squeezes and pats on the back from her fellow members.

After a sympathetic smile to Quinn from Mr. Shue, he dismisses the class for the weekend reminding them all to keep thinking of song ideas for sectionals. While Rachel has no idea what sectionals is she nods along with the rest of the club as they pack up their belongings, eager to go home and start their weekend. Before the students file out Mr. Shue hands Rachel a permission slip, explaining to her that she needs a parent to sign it so that he knows that they are aware of where she is everyday after school. Biting her tongue to tell him that she doesn't have any of those, instead she takes the piece of paper wordlessly and collects her jacket and bag before slipping out the door. Walking in the direction of her locker Rachel freezes when she hears someone calling her name from behind her. Turning around, she waits for Sam as he picks up his step to catch up to her.

"You were really great in there" He tells her, friendly smile etched onto his face as he falls into step with her. "I didn't know you could sing like that. Actually," His shaggy hair shakes as he laughs, "I didn't know you could sing at all."

"That's probably because all our conversations have been along the lines of how much Hydrochloric Acid you should add to a beaker." Rachel responds, not unkindly, but not in the same warm tone Sam used with her. She isn't used to people initiating friendly conversation with her, in fact she has gone out of her way to make sure people don't want to do just that. It's not that she's a bitch or anything; she doesn't cause fights or talk back to teachers, that would draw way to much attention to herself, which is the last thing she wants. However, she doesn't exactly give off the "I want to be your friend come and talk to me" vibe either. Rachel prides herself on being able to be just scary enough to keep people at arms length but not quite scary enough to get her into trouble. It's the perfect balance to get her through the school year relatively unscathed before she can move on with her life for good.

If Sam is fazed by her cool tone he doesn't show it, simply laughs and turns toward the closest doors to exit the school. "Good point. Anyway, we're having a glee get together thing at my house tonight. We do it every month, switching off who hosts it each time." Sam explains, "We usually sing some karaoke, order in food and watch a movie. It's kinda cheesy but its fun." He admits, pushing the door open with one arm. "You should come tonight, you're officially part glee club now and it'll give you a chance to get to know everyone." Rachel shakes her head, slowly walking backwards in the direction of her locker.

"Uhh thanks, but I already have plans tonight." She responds still retreating away from her new club member. Shrugging his shoulders Sam nods understandingly.

"It's cool. I thought you might since it was so last minute, next time then." Rachel nods in agreement, knowing that she will not be attending next months either, before completely turning around and finishing the walk to her locker. Carefully spinning the combination lock Rachel grabs a pen from the shelf and begins to forge Rick's signature on the permission slip Mr. Shue gave her. The less Rick knows about her the life better. Completing the counterfeit signature, a voice startles her.

"Huh, someone doesn't want daddy to know what she's doing after school. Although I can't imagine why you think Glee Club is worth lying about." Attempting to swallow the bile that rises in her throat when she hears the association of Rick and daddy, Rachel spins on her heal and comes face to face with the mohawk boy, whose name she learned to be Puck during the past 2 hours in her new club. Though she doubts that that poor excuse for a sense of individuality is actually his real name. Meeting his eyes for the second time of the day she sets him with a cold stare, which at this point in her life she has perfected.

"I don't see how it's any of your business what I chose to do in my personal life." She answers seething, refusing to break eye contact first. Puck remains unfazed as he towers over her.

"Just making conversation with my new teammate." Though his tone of voice doesn't relay the same friendly message his words do, he almost seems… angry? "Heard you telling Evans you're not coming to our little monthly get together. Woulda thought you'd wanna get to know the people you just signed up to hang out with everyday for the rest of the year." Narrowing her brows, Rachel responds to hulking form in front of her.

"I signed up to sing with them, I didn't sign up to hang out with them." She clarifies, voice never wavering. Puck shrugs his shoulders.

"Same thing."

"No, it's not" Rachel snaps. Puck raises his eyes brows curiously at her tone.

"Well if the idea of hanging out with us makes you so angry then why did you join at all?" Puck asks, moving even closer to her small frame and inwardly Rachel starts to panic.

He's too close.

"It's not like you're exactly the type." He adds condescendingly. Anger clouding her uneasiness, Rachel takes a brave step forward.

"And you are?" She counters, still refusing to look away from his eyes. Puck stiffens slightly and takes a step back. A small smirk tugs on her lips.

"I have my reasons." He answers simply, his tone adding no room for explanations.

"And I have mine." Rachel adds, her tone dripping with the same sense of finality. The hold each other's glare for a few more seconds before Puck finally looks away and strolls toward the exit. Letting out a huff, Rachel claims the last book she needs from her locker when Pucks voice is heard again.

"See ya Monday. Teammate." That's the last she hears before the door bangs behind him. Muttering profanities under her breath, Rachel slams her locker door shut causing her bag to slide off her shoulder and land in the crook of her elbow. Hissing at the pain she carefully places the bag on the floor then looks up and down the hallway to make sure she's alone. Once confirmed of her solitude, Rachel removes her leather jacket and examines the large dark purple bruise that covers where her bag just fell and a good part of her forearm. Reminding herself to ice it later Rachel slips the jacket and bag back on her body before checking her cellphone for the time. It's just after 5:50, meaning she has only 45 minutes to get what she needs before Rick get's home from work. Quickly gathering her belongings Rachel hurries outside and unchains her bike from the rack in front of the school. Pedaling quickly she winds her way through Lima and reaches her destination in record time, not bothering to stand her bike up she unceremoniously drops it onto the grass before pulling out her key out of her school bag and unlocking the front door.

Wasting no time Rachel hurries upstairs to the room that is supposed to be "hers" and begins replacing the clothes the she put in her bag this morning with new ones from her dresser. Making sure she grabs as all the clean pairs of underwear and bras in the drawer, she hustles back down the stairs and throws the dirty clothes she packed earlier into the washer. The timer shows the countdown for 30 minutes and Rachel knows she will have to take them out earlier in order to have them hung up and be out of the house before Rick gets home. Entering the kitchen, she immediately goes towards the first cabinet next to the refrigerator and pulls out three different boxes of cereal, pouring some of each into the large zip-lock pack she brought with her. Once she's sure she has enough to get her thorough the week she returns the boxes to their home and continues on with her mission. She moves around the kitchen flawlessly, this routine becoming second nature to Rachel through these past few months. After stocking up on a few more necessities she turns to leave the room when the refrigerator catches her eye. The shelves of the cold machine are lined with so much alcohol Rachel realizes Rick must have stocked up recently. And just because she knows he wont notice, she grabs a beer from the back and tosses it in her bag along with the rest of the food. Returning to the washer, she ignores the 10 minutes still left on the timer and brings her damp clothes back upstairs and hurriedly hangs them in the closet so they are ready for her when she returns for them. Collecting her things at the foot of the stairs, Rachel makes her final move of the routine she has developed. Pulling the bobby-pin from her hair Rachel jimmies the lock of the small door on the desk. Hearing the satisfying click she swings it open and looks at the tall stack of cash she knew would be there. Claiming the amount that it rightfully hers she tucks it away in her pocket and closes the small door again.

Making her way back out to the front lawn small girl situates herself onto the bike before making her way down the driveway, passing the very person who's house she just vacated on her way down the road. They make eye contact through the side mirror for a split second, and with a mutual nod of understanding the two continue in opposite directions.

Once she's a good distance away Rachel tosses the bottle of beer into the street just because she can. Smiling as the glass shatters and the liquid spills everywhere.

It's a small victory. But for a second, she feels a little bit better.

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Rachel quietly makes her way through the woods behind the football field before parking her bike behind a particularly big tree. It's dark now; nearing 10:00 and the October wind causes her to shiver beneath her coat. Slipping her satchel over her shoulder, she gathers the remaining bags and tiptoes to the side of the school. Taking the same bobby-pin she used earlier from her dark locks, Rachel uses it along with a small screwdriver she keeps in her bag, to jimmy open the door to the supply room. Once she's in she re-locks the door and moves onto the next door that opens to the rest of the school. It has become second nature now, considering she does this nearly every night. The second lock pops free as easily as the first and Rachel smiles at bit at her skills, then continues into the hallway moving silently toward the auditorium. Fiddling with the last lock of her routine she enters the high ceilinged theatre, letting out her usual sigh of relief. Rachel strolls confidently down the aisles toward the stage and then continues on up to the loft above the hall. Making her way through the stored props, set pieces and various storage with cat like agility Rachel silently pushes an empty cabinet a few feet to the right then uses her screwdriver to pop open the small hidden door behind it.

Making her way through the crawlspace she brings her bags in with her and then stands up to her full height. Glancing at the sleeping bag she has set in the corner Rachel makes a mental note to scavenge the sewing club closet to see if they have made any blankets lately. October is bringing cold temperatures and Rachel knows that her flimsy sleeping bag is only going to keep her warm for a few days longer; she may even have to splurge and pick up a blanket at Wallmart**, **though that is a last resort. Once all of her items are unloaded she begins her English homework and has to laugh at the sick irony of them reading Anne Frank. She tries to ignore her mind drifting to what the glee kids might be doing now at Sam's house. Would they be watching a movie or eating take out? Rachel wonders if they order Chinese food. God she loves Chinese food. Thinking back to the excuse she gave Sam as to why she couldn't attend the get together Rachel snorts as she glances around the 7x8 foot room.

Putting her books to the side she grabs hold of the string connected to the single bare bulb that illuminates her "room".

"Yeah" Rachel mutters under her breath as she immerses herself into the darkness and burrows deep into her sleeping bag. "I have plans".


End file.
